April 12th, 2013

crossed heart

deciding where to get a new tattoo

Originally published at Cassie Alexander. You can comment here or there.

Because clearly my entire life should be crowdsourced. (This post will also be a quick way to determine if my mother reads this blog! (I love you if you do, mom. Thanks for putting up with my shenanigans ;))

You may have seen my nifty heart & crossed syringe logo  drawn for me by the awesome Cory Skerry and used most extensively right now on my twitter page.

I think it’s about time to get it on me!

Let me back up a bit though and explain why now though –

Even though I’ve considered myself a ‘writer’ since 1998 — which now that I realize it is 15 years, but who’s counting ;P — I’ve always been nervous about getting something on me to show it. Part of that was because I, um, honestly, found a lot of writing tattoos pretentious (although definitely not yours, if you know me and you have one) ((many of the people I know who have them spend their time smoking or drinking and talking about writing more than actually doing the writing part)). I went through so much rejection to get to where I am — I’m working on my fourteenth book now, and nobody cared at all about the first nine of them — and so many blank stares at parties where I told people what I did, or worse yet that dreaded, “So what do you have out?” question where the only answer was, “Um, nothing, yet,” though not for lack of trying….

Let’s just say I’ve been hesitant.

And then there was the thing that I had a matching tattoo with my ex-husband, because I am a classy lady. It was on my back so I didn’t have to see it, but it made me a bit wary of body modification commitment, even though I’ve loved reading and writing my whole life….

But now that I’m working on my fifth contracted book, and I’ve managed to not screw things up so far , well I don’t want to say that I feel confident — but I do feel comfortable. I’ve pulled off five books now. I know I’m going to write more after that. In general, I feel pretty good about the writing side of things :D.

And then there’s the being a nurse. I meant to shout it out a few months ago, but I just coasted into my fifth year as a nurse here. I was nervous about that for a long while too. (I spend an inordinate amount of my time being nervous.) One of my coworkers has this glorious nursing related tattoo on her foot and she got it like three years after starting after me, and I was so jealous of it — not just because the artwork itself was amazing, but because she knew she could do that. It was enough of a part of her that she knew that it wasn’t going to go away.

(I spend a seriously inordinate amount of time being worried about things I care about or love disappearing, heh.)

But recently I feel like I’ve come into my own here. I may not be the world’s greatest nurse — I know that because I work with some women who can flat out bring the back the dead — but after five years of doing it, it’s a real part of me, of who I am.

So I think it’s about time to commemorate that, too. And that’s what I like about Cory’s design, is that for me it represents both of those worlds to me. Fifth book, fifth year as an RN — and my amazing tattoo artist is back in town after a long absence — it just feels right.

Now I just have to pick where. I’m thinking about a foot or the inside of an ankle/leg. I don’t have any room on my back, and my hip is too hard to show anyone. I think if I did an arm I’d have to do it really big, which isn’t the point of the design, I’ve already got a big back piece…I like the way tattoos look when people have matching sets on their calves or on the back of their thighs, but I don’t really need two of them…I love the way tattoos look on people’s shoulders and chests, but again I think you need some symmetry to match there and again I don’t feel like I need two.

More thinking…but I’d better hurry up since my appointment is tomorrow ;)