December 30th, 2012

crossed heart

the 2012 wrap-up post

Originally published at Cassie Alexander. You can comment here or there.

Dear Journal that I put Online Because I’m Like That — this year’s been a bit crazy, no? All peaks and valleys and very little in between.

Writing Life: awesome, but insane. Having Nightshifted and Moonshifted come out in the US, and those plus Shapeshifted Germany, and sales to the Republic of Czech and France, has all been amazing. Getting fan letters, sheer amazing. Being reviewed, crazy amazing.

However, having books released has been a rollercoaster. Equal parts exciting and anxiety-producing, heh. I wish I could just enjoy it, but it’s hard to enjoy something when you’re so scared something will go wrong. I think after a few more books I’ll reach something approaching zen (lies, total lies) but right now every time a book is released I’m up all night, just waiting to see what people will think of it.

I haven’t written as much new material this past year as I’d like, but I hadn’t really anticipated how stressful having books come out would be, and it’s hard to write when I’m stressed. But I’m almost all the way done with Deadshifted, which feels really solid to me. I know I’m writing at the top of my game, even if I’m going a little more slowly, it’s got Daniel’s seal of approval, and I’m very stoked to get to show it to my agent and editor soon.

Health Stuff: has been a series of on going problems.

Spending two months recuperating from a back injury last spring was not fun. Spending time back at work after a back injury and being scared I’ll reinjure my back is also not fun. Injuring my rotator cuff  this fall also sucked, heh.

My job is tearing me up. It’s the price of what I do, but for my body’s sake, and everything else, I really need to get off of nights, and maybe get a less physical job. Or have my books do amazingly Hollywood-style well, heh. I don’t like being the nurse who shirks turns or heavy dressing changes, but I can’t be super-nurse like I used to be, either.

My stomach’s been bad recently too. My endoscopy showed that I don’t have ulcers, just chronic gastritis. I’m on new meds for that which seem to be working, but we’ll see.

My shoulder thing has stopped me from going to yoga for about 5 months now. I’m still going to the gym (yay reading ebooks on the eliptical!) because I have to, if I don’t go when I can my back’ll seize up, but I would just like one entirely functioning body. I’ve just started to feel old and tired lately in a way I haven’t before, and I think it’s my body wearing down.

At least…

Work: has been awesome. I’m still not as fantastic as some of the people I work with (’cause I work with some really amazing nurses who have tons of experience) but I finally feel like I know things now. It’s been really nice to have some seriously critical patients lately (because all in all, I would rather not talk to my patients) and to just feel good about what I’m doing. I got a good evaluation this past year too, which is always nice, when other people see that you’re good.

And lastly,

Personal Stuff: pretty freaking rad. My husband is still amazing and awesome and we’re totally in love. His job recently promoted him, so it looks like we’ll get to buy a house this upcoming year, which will be a welcome change from our 350 sq foot studio :D. I have the best girlfriends in the world, they’re just stunning women who I am ever so proud to know :D. My family is doing really well right now. And I did the Red Cross thing this past November, which was a pretty amazing and enriching experience. Even though it was exhausting (and completely wiped out my PTO at work) I’m very glad I went.

More ups than downs, and honestly the downs aren’t actually as steep as my anxiety sometimes makes them feel.

Presented for your viewing pleasure, after having been written on break, at 4:30 AM.