January 19th, 2012

crossed heart

a familiar emptiness

Originally published at Cassie Alexander. You can comment here or there.

Reached the end of Shapeshifted, and typed the final words.

I've got another week to do a final draft polish on it, but plot-wise, what's done is done.

I knew I was going to finish today -- looking forward to it even -- but I forgot how this done-bookness feels. As soon as I reached the end I started crying. My husband was like, "But you have another week of editing!" and I was all, "It's not the same." Nothing's the same as that creative-creation process. I enjoy editing, but in my head, the book is done.

I'll turn it in next week, and then we'll see where we're at. I hope they love it. I love it. I've never been with characters for three whole books before. And there's three more books worth of them in my head, should I be so lucky as to get a chance to write it.

I suppose it's a good thing that Nightshifted is out in Germany now, because that feels like a new life of sorts for it, like it's maturing and reaching some brand new stage. I'm still sad though. My characters and I have gone through so much, and I want to do so much more. God, I hope they want more books.

Goal (b/c you know I <3 them) is to get Shapeshifted into my editor by 1/27. And then play around with Project M some super fast. God. I don't know. Write Project M? Since then it'll be my only project? I feel a little weightless and drifty now that I don't have a book attached to me, ha.

We're going to go see my folks this weekend, since I didn't get to see them over Christmas with my back stuff. I'm nervous about the car ride to see them, but my husband has the day off, so we can take as many breaks driving up there as we want.

And that's that. I wanted to write something semi-poetic about how it feels to be done with something like that, the emptiness and loss -- but it would get creepy personal, and really, you've either been there or you haven't. If you're a writer, I hope you have. It's sad, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

This song sums it up perfectly: Luminary - Amsterdam.