December 16th, 2011

crossed heart


Originally published at Cassie Alexander. You can comment here or there.

One vicodin every four hours, and vaguely able to write. Concentration is hard, but progress is steady. Took frequent standing breaks to pace around in the back yard, to try and stay limbered up and sane.

One valium, and my concentration is gone, and I want to fall asleep.

Daniel got back to me on my first ten k. (Daniel is awesome. I don't know if I've mentioned that here enough lately.) Today I managed to make half his suggested tightening changes. And wound up getting out to 14k total last night, so there's that. Will try to finish his suggestions and press on tomorrow. (I just took the valium under anxious duress. In retrospect, should not have. Fucking hell.)

Real dad called this AM. While I was still asleep. Why did I pick up? I don't know, at least i can blame drugs :P. Told me his gf was moving out and he didn't know how he'd afford his rent. And that he was drunk and the apologized for calling me and hung up before I could even say anything back. My husband came home at two after running errands wondering why I hadn't gotten out of bed yet. Well, a) I couldn't move, and b) just shoot me.

(I really am a wretched sick person. I know this. Doesn't help. *sigh*.)

Highlight of the day was he gave me my coolest Xmas present early -- noise cancelling headphones which rock. Now i can zone out in almost complete silence while I work, no matter what he's doing in the rest of the studio. They're an amazing and thoughtful gift.

I'm gonna go crash out now, because the valium's making me wobble like a weeble, and then just hope to reboot everything tomorrow. My back (please, oh pretty pretty effing please), my mood, and my medication pacing for working functionality. Seeing as the only comfortable position for me to be in is sitting stock still upright with an icepack on my back, I better get some srs progress out of this, dammit. I have a follow up with my GP MD on Tues.