Today was much better, after 12 hrs of sleep. Still sick, but I felt less bad today on all fronts overall. I didn't call him back to check up on him. Not because I don't care, but because I need some boundaries. (I don't want to know if he's worse and feel helpless again. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.) I also (and this is huge, hooray, not) called Al-Anon to get information on local meetings. No guarantees I'll go, but that's the biggest step I've made in that direction yet. As I've mentioned before, I get pissed off that his drama makes me have to deal with my own drama...but that's the way it is, so I might as well get dealing.
It seems a shame to negate part of the awesome that happened this weekend, so let me rewind back to it -- my husband had his office party on Monday night, and that was a really grand time. He's a lawyer who does important non-profit work to keep electronic stuff affordable for people (she handwaves). It was very cool to meet all of his coworkers, who were super effusive about him. Seriously, when he walked away, one of them grabbed me and said, "You realize he single-handedly beat AT&T, right?" Like not kidding, and not drunk, heh. Because my husband pretty much did. He's an awesome super genius with a social conscience. I love him so much. At the end, his office handed out assorted Christmas gifts to everyone, and we got a Kindle Fire, which was swiggety-sweet. It was like an Oprah episode in there :D.
Today/tonight I started to get back into Shapeshifted proper. I like the first ten K. It can stay. The next ten k I want to make some changes to, and will probably want to do so exponentially from there on out. Tomorrow marks the T-30 days to do everything in, and I work 8 of those days. It's due 1/15. Luckily I'm awesome and can do it all, right? Right.
More randomness, brought on by my post-title: did any of y'all know there was a Skrillex and La Roux remix of In for the Kill? Me either, until Pandora dredged it up. It's out there in the ether for y'all to download, not hard to find. (I first searched for places/ways to pay, and could find none.) It's pretty sweet. Not unrelated lyrically, to Bulletproof at least, the Bassnectar remix of Lights by Ellie Goulding is really, really good.
I'm threatening (as usual) to drop off the face of the world for the next month or so. (I doubt that'll happen, but it's very empowering to say I might for some reason, so here goes.) I need to be very drama free to do what needs doing. That should be my fantasy name: Girl Who Does What Needs Doing. I feel pretty wrung out and dry-hearted right now. Maybe that's a good thing. Emptiness is evenness. (I want to say dead inside, but that sounds worrisome. It doesn't feel particularly worrisome. Just another hollowed out day. Focusing on attainable goals and measurable accomplishments. I am practiced at this. Fake it till you make it, baby, even if the first thing on your detailed fake list is "getting out of bed" followed by "taking a shower". Pretty sure everyone's been there before.)
Back at it for a little longer tonight. Probably post an update tomorrow.