July 11th, 2011

crossed heart

coming clean

Originally published at Cassie Alexander. You can comment here or there.

I'm about ten points more sane than I was last post. (Sanity rules borrowed from Arkham Horror, which I have not played in far too long.)

Work was particularly worky this past week. My home floor was slow, so I floated to almost every other ICU in the hospital, trauma, medical, surgical. Floating's great, because you get to keep your skills up while continually being humbled by people who know a million more things than you do. It's like beggaring on other floors. "Please, Sir, can you remind me how to monitor an ventriculostomy? I wouldn't want all the juices to run out of this person's head." Seriously, they don't give you assignments you can't handle most times, and it's always interesting to see what there is to see. You just have to keep being brave and willing to keep going out there.

I managed to see a few friends too, which was nice. With end of book + sick + NYC, I hadn't been locally social in far too long. A group dinner and hanging out with my housemates has been profoundly refreshing.

I was supposed to go up to see some relatives elsewhere today, but my husband's car died, so I wound up staying home instead, and now I've got a few days off to kill...which...is all a nice way to say no, I have not started Shapeshifted yet. (Corollary to that, I am no where near completing my Write-a-thon goal.)

I've been reading research books for it, but...no work really, yet. I've got maybe 3-4 k of notes. And, that's it.

I know. I'm a little worried too, but it still feels OK. I'm torn between flogging my muse like a mule (out of a duty that feels that's what Real Writers do), versus being nice to myself (which is against my essential nature). It's a struggle to err on the side of niceness, but I needed to breathe some. I may still need to breathe some more. I know myself when I'm slacking, and this doesn't feel like it yet. This feels like respite.  So, yeah. A few more days of this, with no one bleeding out around me, and no phone calls, and no where to go precisely, and I might be ready to roll again. It'll come when it's time -- and that's when I'll go back to working like a dog.

My husband has to take my car tomorrow, so my big stay-at-home plans involve yoga, reading, and more reading. It'll be nice :D.

Speaking of readings ;) -- The Clarion West Write-a-thon themed reading this year will be at Borderlands on July 23rd, at 3 PM. Rachel Swirsky, Vylar Kaftan, Tim Pratt, and Dan Marcus will be reading :D.